It is easier to forgive an enemy than a friend.
He was a friend. We worked together and had known each other for several years. We would occasionally meet at social and other functions and regularly spent time in conversation.
One day he asked to borrow several hundred dollars. He needed it very badly for something important, implying it was for one of his children. He was, at the moment only, without enough liquid currency; he would pay me back soon. I was taken off guard because it was the last thing I expected to hear from him. I loaned him the money. Never saw it again. Although I did see him, as regularly as ever, which was a problem.
He would promise to pay it back soon, in just a day or so, or the beginning of next week, or whatever. Eventually he stopped saying anything about it and just avoided me as much as he could. Very awkward.
Then I found out. He gambled. The horses. Oh.
From the day of the loan to this it has been difficult for me to forgive him. I have wondered why. When I read the saying above I found an answer. He was a friend! He stole from me and he lied to me!
In retrospect, I realize that I was basically asleep in this situation. Had I been more awake to the reality around me, I would have known, as many others did, not to lend this guy money because he’d simply gamble it away. Lesson one.
Lesson two is about the forgiving thing. If someone I didn’t know had stolen the money from me, I could more easily let it go and theoretically “forgiven” someone out there with my money. But this was a friend. It touches on trust, security, self-worth, self-image, the way one relates to others, and a whole lot more. I’m still trying to wake up about this one.
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